Goat-worshippers won a major battle today in a local Kansas school district. After an intensive lobbying effort and media campaign, Kansas school board members agreed to allow Goat Theory to be taught in the district’s biology classes along with evolution and Intelligent Design.
Goat Theory holds that the universe and all life within it are connected to invisible puppet-like strings controlled by divine goats. Goat Institute scientist and former National Review editor Goaty McGoatface explained, “Evolution simply can’t account for everything. Yes, it’s true that it has mountains of empirical evidence supporting it. But it’s also true that not every single debate about every single topic has been agreed upon by all scientists. Therefore, it’s just a theory. And so is Goat Theory. It even says so in the name, unlike 'natural selection'.”
“All we’re saying is teach the controversy. Present different theories to our children and let them decide. That’s the whole point of education. That’s the marketplace of ideas in action. We need to expose our children to different ideas. For too long, atheist goat-denying liberals – who are generally gay and molest children and commit treason and drink vanilla lattes – have had a strangehold over classroom curriculum with their fancy liberal ‘empirical evidence.’”
In other news, a local blogger went insane yesterday. He was last seen pulling out his hair with his bare hands while screaming on the streets about the end of days.
While he doesn't link to TfK, I think it's clear who he's talking about.