Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Drinking through the speech

I don't usually go in for drinking games, but I don't know how I'll make it through tonight's speech without a bottle of Jim Beam. Thanks to Unholy Moses for The SOTU Drinking Game:
  • Every time Bush says “9/11,” take a drink.
  • Every time he mentions “progress” and “Iraq” in the same sentence, take a drink.
  • Every time he links Iraq and 9/11, chug whatever you have left in you cup/glass/bottle.
  • Every time he mentions hurricane Katrina without following it with “and we are sorry of the mistakes we made,” stand up, because monkeys will soon be flying out of your ass.
  • Every time he mentions how great the economy is doing (listen for “full head of steam”), yet fails to mention that American income has actually declined under his watch, take two drinks.
  • Every time he mentions the “terrorist’ surveillance program,” take a drink.
  • Every time he tries to justify breaking the law by stating that he is protecting us, take a drink.
  • Every time he mentions the Patriot Act and how it actually protects civil liberties (even though it doesn’t), take a drink.
  • Every time he mentions reducing dependence on foreign oil, but makes no mention on the record profits his oil buddies are making, take a drink.
Actually, tonight I'll be at a conversation with Richard Rosengarten, Dean of the University of Chicago's Divinity School, who will be discussing "Intelligent Design and Divine Providence in History and in the 21st Century," at the KC Public Library, 14 W. 10th Street. There's a reception at 6, and the lecture at 6:30. Odds are excellent that I'll learn more at this event than I would by listening to the President say the same things he says every year.