Saturday, February 11, 2006

Beware!

Via the American Street, a report on the greatest threat ever!:
The government concluded its “Cyber Storm” wargame Friday, its biggest-ever exercise to test how it would respond to devastating attacks over the Internet from anti-globalization activists, underground hackers and bloggers.

Bloggers?

Participants confirmed parts of the worldwide simulation challenged government officials and industry executives to respond to deliberate misinformation campaigns and activist calls by Internet bloggers, online diarists whose “Web logs” include political rantings and musings about current events.
Curse you bloggers and your political rantings! Your musings on current events and meditations on why navel gazing is so much fun pose an imminent threat to America!

Thanks to a source familiar with the internal workings of the White House, I can provide a preview of tomorrow's Presidential Daily Briefing:

Bloggers determined to mock President

Clandestine, foreign government, and media reports indicate that bloggers or "Web loggers" since at least 2000 have wanted to conduct mockery of President Bush. The circulation of modified digital images or "photoshops" comparing the president with various simians dates to at least that time period, and there is evidence of ongoing efforts to stockpile records of the President's (and then Governor's) public misstatements and gaffes.

After US voters narrowly rejected candidate Bush, but Republican nominees on the Supreme Court decided to overrule a state court's decisions, the bloggers stepped up their satirical assaults on President Bush.

In more recent years, the bloggers have criticized various decisions, even mocking President Bush's "Mission Accomplished" announcement. Currently criticism of the President's bold plan to defend America by abandoning the American way has spread from traditional blogging extremists to bloggers who once supported the President. Their ongoing efforts to understand why the President ordered the NSA to spy on Americans without warrants and in contravention of the law is a constant reminder to terrorists that their phones might be tapped.

We have not been able to corroborate some of the more sensational threat reporting, such as that from a ------- service that bloggers and their reporting from the Gulf Coast may be behind the President's declining approval, or that the insidious efforts of bloggers have made the Republican congress and its widespread corruption so unpopular that the coming election may see a swing of power.

The CIA, FBI, NSA, and various groups within the Pentagon are currently investigating the acts of extremist mockery that they consider blogger related.