A better list
35. Nick LoweI don't know how these songs missed the cut:
"Cruel to be Kind"
Conservatives are often accused of not caring about the less fortunate, but as this song illustrates we really do actually care even when it seems we are being cruel and unfeeling.
“Life During Wartime” by Talking Heads from the album Stop Making Sense (1999, 5:51).
The album title is enough, but toss in the lyrics of this song, and you have a conservative masterpiece:
This ain't no party,
this ain't no disco,
this ain't no fooling around.
No time for dancin'
I ain't got time for that now
Why stay in college?
Why go to night school?
What'll be different this time…
We got computers,
we're tapping phone lines,
you know that that ain't a lie"
Other good Talking Heads options are:
“Road To Nowhere” by Talking Heads from the album Little Creatures (1985, 4:19).
“Once In A Lifetime” by Talking Heads from the album Remain in Light (1980, 4:22).
("And you may find yourself in a beautiful car…")
No list of conservative songs could possibly leave off “Money” by Pink Floyd from the album Dark Side Of The Moon (1973, 6:32).
but a better choice would be “Pigs (Three Different Ones)” by Pink Floyd from the album Animals (1977, 11:26).
“The Fletcher Memorial Home” by Pink Floyd from the album The Final Cut (1983, 4:12).
Never a finer elegy to the great conservative leaders, like Reagan, Haig, Thatcher, McCarthy, Nixon, and anonymous Latin American meat-packing glitterati.
Surprising as it may seem, the Dead Kennedys bring us lots of options. "War is coming back in style" explains “When Ya Get Drafted” by Dead Kennedys from the album Fresh Fruit for Rotting Vegetables (1980, 1:22). Who could forget the Swiftian brilliance of “Kill the Poor” by Dead Kennedys from the album Fresh Fruit for Rotting Vegetables (1980, 3:04)? Or the admiration for our allies expressed in “Holiday In Cambodia” by Dead Kennedys from the album Fresh Fruit for Rotting Vegetables (1980, 4:40).
And the DK's underlying love of capitalism shines through in “Viva Las Vegas” by Dead Kennedys from the album Fresh Fruit for Rotting Vegetables (1980, 2:36).
Nothing expresses the conservative view of life than “Misery is the river of the world” by Tom Waits from the album Blood Money (2002, 4:25).
“The Ghosts of Saturday Night” by Tom Waits from the album The Heart of Saturday Night (1974, 3:16) gives us a picture of a hedonistic teenager ready to get serious and start reading William Buckley. Let's call it the Jeff Goldstein theme song.
How can we forget the excellent homage to the military of “Sixteen Military Wives” by The Decemberists from the album Picaresque (2005, 4:52). ("And America can and America can't say 'no.'")
But the best song would be “A Cautionary Song” by The Decemberists from the album Castaways and Cutouts (2002, 3:08).
What song does better at promoting abstinence and encouraging respect for parents?